


I Was Drowning Before I Met You

by Petramos



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 18:50:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16687003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petramos/pseuds/Petramos
Summary: From a motel outside of California, Cheryl thinks back on her love life





	I Was Drowning Before I Met You

Cheryl was laying in bed, Toni had fallen asleep halfway through the latest episode of 9-1-1. Her head on Cheryl's shoulder, her shallow breaths hitting her neck.

They had been travelling for just over six weeks, she didn't realise how much she needed to get out of Riverdale until she had left. She finally felt like she could breathe again, that she could just be happy.

It had been an amazing six weeks, just the two of them and Hawk the motorcycle. Staying in motel after motel, and if someone had told Cheryl that she would be staying in anything less than five star a few months ago, she would have scoffed in their faces.

But I guess once you've gone to Sister's of Quiet Mercy then anything with an unlockable door feels like five star.

And Toni? Toni had been amazing, she had whisked Cheryl away out of town and when Cheryl would get a little bit quiet as they stared out at the Pacific Ocean, thinking about how Jason would have loved to have been there, the other girl would just grab her hand to let her know she was there.

And on the worst of days when Cheryl just felt anger at the world, and the tears came, Toni would just hold her till she stopped crying. She would drop what they had planned for the day, and spend the day together in the motel just the two of them until the world felt a bit more bearable.

She had been so angry for a long time, at herself: her mother; her father; her uncle and just at the world. She had spent so long wanting to be loved but not ever really knowing how to love someone.

First it was Heather, she thought it was love, she had planned to take her to prom. Cheryl would become an heiress and Heather would become the Doctor that she had always wanted to be. But Heather was taken away from her, and her dreams faded and it never happened. When she got Instagram and Facebook she looked her up, but it wasn't the same, Heather had a boyfriend. When they spoke Heather laughed off their entire relationship as a phase and a joke.

Second it was Josie, the girl who was so kind to her after Jason went missing. And Cheryl couldn't help it but she started wishing that they would fall in love, that one day their lips would meet and fireworks would explode behind both their eyes and they would love happily ever after. But, Josie...Josie didn't want that, Josie was almost scared of her. And then the shame she felt for being gay started to creep back in, she wasn't meant to be happy. Her Mum was right and she really was loveless.

And then along came Toni. The girl with the pink hair, she tried to hate her because Toni was free, if she wanted to kiss a girl and then kiss a boy she could and what did Cheryl hate the most? Just how free she was to do it, how she didn't even have hesitate about It, she didn’t spiral out or have an identity crisis. 

Toni had blindsided her that night at the movies, she had shown Cheryl more kindness and concern as an almost stranger than people Cheryl had known for the past 16 years. 

There is many things that Cheryl loves about Toni, but her size of her heart is at the top of the list. Just how after everything she had to overcome, being homeless, watching her Mum die from an overdose when she was nine and not knowing if she would live through the next day as a Serpent but after all of that she wanted to give back, she wanted to help by doing food drives or doing school pictures for the local parents who couldn't afford to buy the yearbooks, getting Mrs. Welton's groceries for her when her arthritis was playing up. For knowing that Cheryl needed to get away, showing her that life isn't about being stuck in a small town or haunted by the past. That she could be a carefree 17 year old, that she could let loose and people wouldn’t think any different of her and that by opening herself up to love that she could let herself be happy.

Occasionally she felt overwhelmed and it was too much, and she didn't know what to do, and she would try and push Toni away. But Toni wouldn't leave her, she would just sit and wait out the storm, wait for Cheryl to come back to her with a pout and an apology.

When they kissed Cheryl felt warmth settle in the bottom of her stomach. And then they hugged she felt like she was coming home, felt like she was finally getting the happiness that she had waited for.

And when they made love, she knew that everything that she had been through was worth it, that all the love she had never been given was finally being given back to her.


End file.
